Lumpen-Capitalist

Browsing social media is like scratching at barely healed wounds. You know it's unwise and that you'll regret it, but you can't resist the temptation. This is especially true for the queen of the people’s media, Musk's platform X, which has liberated the masses from the tyranny of reality and facts and finally allowed them to stop believing in what is, and instead believe in what they want or wish to be.

Recently, I came across a post by someone named Matej, apparently traveling in Argentina. In the attached photo, he’s holding a plastic bottle of Coca-Cola in one hand (trembling with joyful excitement—OK, that bit is mine), and between his thumb and forefinger, the detached plastic cap. To all his followers and the unfortunate victims who stumbled upon the post—either by chance or thanks to Elon’s mischievous algorithm—Matej enthusiastically declared: “You know what freedom is? Being able to drink cold Coca-Cola without some bureaucrat telling you how to open it. And you don’t even spill it on yourself. I know you’re jealous. Long live freedom, fuck yeah!”

Apologies for the vulgarity, but I didn’t think it right to censor Matej’s original work—and let’s admit, that final exclamation is the most charming part of his message. And the only part I can wholeheartedly agree with, vulgarity or not, even if Matej and I probably understand the concept of freedom quite differently. Still, long live freedom, fuck yeah!

Matej’s post is not unique. Any foray into Musk’s platform will serve you a buffet of thoughts from village and urban eccentrics, hotheads, and self-proclaimed computer science professors, all passionately praising the wisdom of Elon Musk, Javier Milei, and of course, the greatest among them, Slovenia’s son-in-law, Donald Trump. Long live freedom, fuck yeah!

So, on its own, Matej’s post wouldn't deserve much attention. Just another in a long line of nonsense awaiting anyone foolish enough to wander into Musk’s social network. On the other hand, it’s much more than that—a diagnosis of the state of Slovenian (and not only Slovenian) society. A sign of how far we’ve fallen in basic civilizational values like empathy, solidarity, responsibility—and rationality. Today, even the staunchest believers in the neoliberal interpretation of freedom probably understand that plastic bottle caps are attached not because bureaucrats gleefully enjoy every time Matej spills Coke on his shirt, but because these caps cause enormous environmental damage. True, we won’t save the world this way alone, but nothing stops you from doing much more to protect nature and, ultimately, humanity. But if, like Matej, you already resent attached caps, it makes sense you’ll feel the same about other painful but necessary environmental measures.

I agree, many things are being handled poorly, and the lack of attention to environmental justice—placing the burden of action disproportionately on certain people—is a big issue. But plastic caps aren’t in that category. Matej, try holding the bottle with your thumb on one side and your middle, ring, and pinkie fingers on the other. You’ll still have your index finger free to press down that damn cap. Yes you can!

Matej is, apparently, not only a social media sage but also a fellow columnist and entrepreneur. That’s fine and good. We need entrepreneurs. I’m not among the ideologues who bash anyone who earns a lot of money through hard work and talent. I don’t want to live in a society where people can’t become wealthy and enjoy their wealth. On the contrary, I believe fostering entrepreneurship not only brings but enables societal prosperity and progress. After all, we protected economic freedom in our constitution. But we also wrote in that Slovenia is a democratic and social state that guarantees and protects human rights and political freedoms. Upon independence, Slovenian citizens chose a social order based on balancing these freedoms. Yet increasingly, voices act as if the Constitution of the Republic of Slovenia contains only Article 74: Freedom of enterprise, fuck yeah!

A large part of the media and political-economic elite bombards us ad nauseam with imported Muskisms, Mileisms, and Trumpisms. Apparently, we can't even come up with our own dumb and dangerous ideas—we import them, chewed up and fermented, like that alcoholic brew of manioc drunk by South American tribes. We pedestalize the lumpen-capitalist, who sees freedom in un-attached Coca-Cola caps. There’s not a day when the amorphous masses aren’t lectured about the leadership role of the economic elite. Ask Matej. He knows. Born and bred for the elite. Running a state is more of a managerial than a political job, says the president of the Slovenian Business Club. Disillusioned with the present, we blindly march toward a political system of capitalist self-management, where capital, unshackled from democracy and social responsibility, governs society and the state. Freedom, fuck yeah!

Following Elon Musk’s glorious victory in the U.S. election, we can expect the idea of a managerial state takeover to gain further momentum. No more wasting money on social safety nets, healthcare, environmental protections, regulation, or taxation—all that junk that makes it harder for economic elites to carry out their enlightened societal mission. It’ll hurt a little at first, Elon promises the raging masses, like a giddy husband pressuring his wife into bedroom practices he picked up on Pornhub.

The truth is—it already hurts. America is wealthy, but never in its history has wealth been distributed so unequally. That’s why so many Americans gave their vote to Trump. So things would finally be great for them too. But it won’t happen. In the future, it will hurt even more. But Musk doesn’t care. When people realize wealth never trickles down—but only up—he’ll cash in the profits of his investment in authoritarian populism. When people understand that their misery isn’t caused by migrants, gays, strong and independent women, or other scapegoats they’re currently taught to blame, it may be too late. By the time the barrel’s bottom falls out, democratic institutions and safeguards will be so weakened that they’ll have no place left for protest but up their own ears. The regime will respond to public discontent with authoritarianism and violence. All we’ll have left are Coca-Cola caps. And freedom will have gone where Matej sees it. Up your… well, you know where.